All my life I’ve had a special kind of feeling about the forest. I had always had a wish to live out of town. Near the forest - hell, I want to live in the woods, of possible.
Today, I’m 47 years old. I still want to live near the forest (I have actually done that, from time to time).
Lately, though, my thoughts have been wandering along trails where they never had before. I have, for as long as I can remember, had a strong urge to just walk out into the forest. ( I always sort of “make up” excuses to go there; “need the ecercise”, “go for a walk with the dog”, “picking mushrooms”, etc etc). I love the atmosphere, the sense of stillness, the compact silence and….
Yes, and what? Something more. Something undefined, something that keeps eluding me, no matter how hard I try to put words to it. But - every time I find myself in the woods - sometimes deep into the vast area of trees - something happens.
I get restless. I breathe in the stillness, that sometimes magic sense of just being there - and then I become restless. What am I doing there? Finally, after no more than 30 minutes I head back home again.
What is new about this, is thatI have lately begun to, kind of, analyze this.
Accept, for a moment, that our souls are eternal. Accept for a moment that our souls wander. I am new to this kind of thinking. I have always been very sceptic about this reincarnation thingy. I still am…but-
What if?
What if it is true?
Throw me and my thinking in the garbage if you like. I will not be insulted. The rest of you - read on.
Is there a reason for this manic love of the woods? What is it, that keeps draggin’ me out there? And why do I get so restless and annoyed whenever I finally get there?
In my embryo of suspicions there can be a reason. Deep inside me, a feeling has been born. Is there someone waiting for me out there? Could it be that we, me and my loved one, set up to meet at a certain place? And that somehow by some reason that meeting never took place? Did one of us die before we could meet? What happened? Am I a restless longing soul in search of an ancient love?
What if our souls really wander? What if our souls actually remembers?
What if……?