Words…an underestimated power

I am 47 years old. I met my wife in october 1990. We married in 1992. And still, after all this years, almost 17 years later, I still consider me as a happily married man. And I tell you, it keeps growing better for every year that passes by.

We hardly ever fight (anymore :o) ) , our sexlife….Wow -our sexlife is….ehm…well….none of your business, actually…

The thing is, we work together. We actually spend almost 24 hours a day in each other’s company. And still we don’t rip each other’s heart out. And why is that?

Maybe I’m just fortunate. Maybe I stumbled on the once-in-a-lifetime bulls-eye moment. I sure am. And I sure did.

But - is that all there is to it? I don’t think so. I think I - we- must be doing something right. The unique power of love that we share would never had existed if we had chosen the ‘wrong’ path in our relationship.

In the beginning, this path had so many forks…And, of course, we made a lot of wrong turns in our first years together. But somehow we always got back on track again.

Because we wanted to.

Because we learned that romance is not always about what you want - but also what she wants. It takes  two to tango - right?

Because we eventually learned how to talk to each other.We learned to communicate!

One of the biggest, and most common, I believe, mistakes we make is a HUGE one. Men and women alike, we automatically assume that “she knows what I mean”.

Have you ever heard a woman say; “He should have known that, without me having to spell it out loud!”   For Christ’s sake - we are no mindreaders! Talk to each other! Always let him/her know you feelings. Good feelings as well as the bad ones.

I know you can do this. I know that, because I myself must have been the worst case ever. In the early years of our life together I was really a zombie regarding this subject.   All credits goes to my wife for awakening me. She literally forced me to start talking ’bout my feelings, my needs. She made me talk about what I wanted in our relationship. She made me understand the importance of communications in our relationship.

Regardless of what you believe, there is no way he/she can know your feelings or your needs without you telling her/him. “She should have known….”  “She should have guessed I didn’t want her to do that….” Ridiculous statements, if you ask me!

How ever - unfortunately it’s not enough to start talking to each other. There is another huge obstacle….

Know this: We men do not speak the same language as women do. I’m sorry, but it is a fact. It is not a subject John Gray wrote several books about just for the fun of it. This is crucial for the survival of your relationship.

Even if you guys actually manage to start to really talk to each other, there is no telling if your partner knows what you are saying. Sometimes we almost need an interpretor sitting between us. I can’t count the times we have actually have had the same opinion, but ended up arguing just because we didn’t speak the same language.

I won’t go any deeper into this (remember, John Gray has filled several books on this) right now. But be sure that you are aware of this. Make sure that  your love really understands what you mean.

This Mars and Venus thing is nothing but True. Believe me